How to motivate my boyfriend to stop smoking and drinking?
December 10th, 2011
My boyfriend is 15 and he smokes pot and cigarettes and drinks. He always tells me he wants to and is trying to quit but he ends up smoking or drinking later on that day. He started smoking at the age of 10 when his parents passes away, he knows it’s really bad but he can’t seem to stop. How can I help him and/or motivate him to stop without making him go to rehab or something?
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Posted in Stop smoking help | 
Tags: 100 Cigarettes, boyfriend, Drinking, Drinks, motivate, parents, Pot, smoking, stop
tell him u will make love to him if he stops
send him to an alcoholics anonymous or narcotics anonymous meeting or something. or tell his guardians.. unless their neglectful or completely inadequate. but yeah…. there’s plenty of free + anonymous places he can find help/support.
take him to counseling that will help. My boyfriend was the same way but I also went on the internet and showed what it does to your lungs and for drinking his liver.
i know he is your boyfriend, but you should try to threaten him. say you will leave him if he doesnt stop or you dont want to do that take him in and talk to him
You screen name looks pretty frightening. Maybe you could threaten him with his life. But seriously, this is a really big problem. So big that most grown ups can not overcome them on their own. You need to try to find someone older that you can trust, and talk to them about it. May a school counselor, or teacher. Maybe a parent, or a minister. There are lots of places to turn to for help. Some of them are free. Try this web site link for starters.
http://alcoholselfhelpnews.wordpress.com/2007/07/18/a-problem-shared-is-a-problem-halved/
You don’t just get people to quit abusing substances. It doesn’t work that way. I’ve been working with addicts for nearly 4 years now. I’ve seen everyone from pregnant teenagers to old men dying of liver failure. In the most extreme cases, sometimes people just don’t want to quit.
Unfortunately, you cannot control your boyfriend’s actions and even if you tried he’d just go behind your back or turn to different substances.
So you really have to just weigh in your options: You can stay with him knowing that he is not going to quit using drugs – because your story is not new at all new to me, I can tell you with 90% certainty he’s not going to quit on his own. Or you can give him an ultimatum – he can choose you can get help for his drug problems. Or he can have his drugs and you leave him.
I know these are tough choices. Believe me, I’ve been dealing with addicts in my own family all my life. But you have to really consider what you are putting yourself through by staying with a guy who is already in a long term relationship with chemicals that will always be more important to him than you.
Less than 1% of addicts quit cold turkey. Almost all need some sort of rehab to detox followed by therapy to help the user correct the behaviors and attitudes that lead to drug abuse. There are just no two ways around it. I don’t care if you read a book or visit a web site or talk to Dr. Phil, ultimately he needs help. And that almost always means some measure of rehab.
But now you know your options and I’m sure a lot of what I am saying is falling on deaf ears because you want to be there and support your boyfriend. You are not the problem here, your boyfriend’s substance issues are. And if you don’t believe me: stay with him for another 5 years and see how he turns out. You’ll see everything I am telling you is true and then some.
It’s really tough for the person who is the loved one or friend of the addict to help them get outside help except going with the individual to 12-step meetings and/or participating in counseling if it’s relevant. The person with the addiction has to want to get well for him or herself. With that said, it’s best not to enable the person with the addiction(s) giving him money or calling in sick at his work. Please do let your boyfriend’s legal guardians and/or guidance counselor know about his drug and alcohol use, if even anonymously, as most addicts and alcoholics do not get help on their own much less a 15-year-old
For a free 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous meeting: http://www.aa.org
Narcotics Anonymous meetings: http://www.na.org
Al-Anon meetings are for the family members and friends of the problem drinker (as opposed to the addict themselves): http://www.al-anon.alateen.org
This site has counseling and treatment programs (and some have financial assistance for those without health insurance): http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/ and can click one’s state of residence on the map and continue with the search.