How do I tell my boyfriend to quit smoking?
October 24th, 2010
Okay I’m not trying to force the kid to not smoke. I just want to tell him I don’t like it, but I don’t know how to start the conversation. Like I just want him to know it’s his choice. All I basically want to say is that the smoking is a total turn off and if he chooses to continue smoking, then he can’t do it around me. So I just want to know how to start the conversation about it and keep it going.
Thanks for all your help!
Related Reading:
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Posted in 
Tags: 
Just tell him you don’t like smoking hon and you wish he ‘d stop.He either will or he won’t but if you choose to stay with him ANYWAY if he decides to continue smoking, then NEVER EVER complain about it.
Did he smoke when you met him? If so, then you knew what you were getting into. Sure, he should quit, but it has been my experience that in order for some to quit smoking, they have to want to quit for themselves. Quitting becasue someone else wants you to generally doesn’t work.
Quitting smoking is exceptionally difficult. On average, a smoker will attempt to quit 17 times before they are successful. Smoking isn’t a character claw, it’s an addiction. I smoked for 20 years, and quit 27 days ago. It sucks.
Well, you can nag him about it. But frankly, he’s heard it all a thousand times before. So all you’re going to do is make a wedge between the two of you? Is it worth the risk? You need to decide.
You probably realize that it’s very difficult for him to quit, and he probably doesn’t want to quit. But there’s really only one way that you can show that you absolutely understand how difficult it is, and that you would appreciate how much of a sacrifice he was making for you.
And the only way to do that is for you to start smoking, so that you can quit with him together. Then, he’ll know you’re serious. You can’t just smoke one cigarette and then say that you “quit”. you’ll need to keep it up for a few months until you become addicted, and the quit.
Will this be hard for you to do? Yes. But you expect him to do the same thing for you, and it’s just as hard for him (actually, even harder, because he’s been smoking longer).
Is it fair for you to ask him to do this, unless you are also willing?
This is one issue where I believe it’s okay to feel extremely strong about. It’s not like you are telling him not to wear hats, you know? It’s for his health. I find your reasoning a little funny; a smoker is a smoker, even while not smoking! He’ll still have a nagging cough, smell awful, plus be irritable when not smoking. It’s basically like having an overweight boyfriend, and being okay with him being overweight, just not around you.
My guess would be you guys are somewhat new in the relationship. Let him know you don’t like it, and ask him not to do it while around you. Fib if necessary, say you are allergic to it or it irritates your eyes. Once you guys have dated for awhile, really lay it on thick. Chances are he doesn’t like smoking either, so be supportive of him versus naggy.